What Is Symbiosexuality? And Do All Of Us Have It In Us In A Way?

By Katyayani Joshi

When it comes to matters of the heart, the landscape of love and attraction is ever-changing. The newest twist? Some people are now falling for couples, not just individuals.

In the world of symbiosexuality, where romance and desire extend beyond the traditional one-on-one dynamic, people are ready to embrace the energy shared between two people already in love (yes, it seems like third-wheeling is the new trend).

Imagine being more attracted to the bond between two people than to either person individually. This is the essence of symbiosexuality, a new phenomenon highlighted in a recent study from Seattle University.

Understanding Symbiosexuality

Rather than desiring just one partner, symbiosexuals find themselves drawn to the unique energy and connection shared between a couple. It’s not about wanting to steal one partner away; it’s about appreciating the relationship as a whole.

Dr. Sally Johnston, an adjunct professor of anthropology and sociology, led the research, which was published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour. She explains that symbiosexuals are in love with the love itself. They’re attracted to the “energy, multidimensionality, and power” that comes from a couple’s relationship. This concept challenges the traditional view of human attraction as a one-to-one experience, expanding it to include a fascination with the dynamic between others.

The study involved 373 participants, of whom 145 reported feeling an attraction to couples rather than to individuals within those couples. This indicates that nearly 39% of the participants experienced symbiosexual attraction, suggesting that this phenomenon might be more common than previously thought.

Symbiosexuality Vs. Other Relationship Models

While polyamory involves having multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time, symbiosexuality is different. Here, the attraction is to the existing relationship’s dynamics rather than the idea of creating new relationships.

In popular culture, we see hints of this in shows like Gossip Girl and Tiger King, where the interest often lies in the bond between the characters rather than just the characters themselves.

Interestingly, the study also touches on the concept of the “unicorn” in non-monogamous communities — a term often used to describe someone who joins a couple for sexual purposes but isn’t included in the emotional aspects of their relationship.

However, Johnston’s research suggests that symbiosexuals are interested in more than just physical interaction; they are genuinely captivated by the emotional and relational depth between the couple. This makes their attraction unique and deeply connected to the couple’s shared love.

What Symbiosexuality Teaches Us

Dr. Johnston’s research pushes us to reconsider how we understand human attraction and relationships. Traditionally, we think of attraction as something that happens between two people, but symbiosexuality shows that desire can extend to the relationships others share.

As part of her ongoing work in ‘The Pleasure Study’, Johnston is looking into how these unique attractions affect people’s mental health and overall relationship satisfaction.

Symbiosexuality was found across diverse demographics, including different age groups, racial backgrounds, socio-economic classes, and gender identities.

Some participants, particularly those who identify as queer or sexually open, reported being more attracted to queer and non-heterosexual couples. Firstpost reports that Eden, a participant in the study, expressed that the validation they feel from a couple’s attention is more fulfilling than what they would get from a single partner.

Admiration vs. Symbiosexuality: Understanding the Difference

Admiring a loving relationship is something most people experience. We often see a loving couple, a deep friendship, or even a close bond with a pet and wish for something similar in our own lives. This kind of admiration is about longing for the emotions and connection that the relationship represents, whether it’s love, companionship, or mutual support. It’s a natural desire and extends across various types of relationships, from romantic to familial.

However, symbiosexuality takes this a step further. It’s not just about admiring a bond from a distance or wishing for a similar connection. Symbiosexuals are specifically attracted to the relationship itself — the dynamics, energy, and emotional depth between the two people in that bond. This attraction is not about wanting a similar relationship in their own life, but rather being drawn to the existing relationship as it is, with all its complexities.

While admiration often involves idealising what we don’t have, symbiosexuality is a more active form of desire. It’s about wanting to be part of that specific relationship dynamic, rather than just wishing for something similar.

In this way, symbiosexuality isn’t just about admiring the “greener landscape”; but feeling a pull towards it and wanting to engage with it directly.

The emergence of symbiosexuality is a reminder that love and attraction are far more complex and varied than we often acknowledge. As society becomes more aware of these diverse forms of desire, there’s hope that this understanding will reduce stigma and broaden our acceptance of different relationship dynamics.

Love is ever-evolving, and symbiosexuality is just one of the many ways people are redefining their relationships and desires. So, whether you’re happily single, deeply committed, or somewhere in between, it’s clear that the ways we connect with others are as unique as we are. In the end, maybe it’s not just about who we love, but how we love that truly matters.

Originally published at https://edtimes.in on August 28, 2024.